Finding the Softness in Black Muslim Love
Finding a partner with whom you share both religious and ethnic backgrounds can be challenging when Black Muslims make up only 10% of the UK’s Muslim population. According to Muzmatch, a Muslim dating and marriage app, only 9% of its user base identify as Black, and a survey that received over 400 completed responses, has found that 74% of its Black members felt that race affected the matches they got. Among the challenges were anti-Black racism in the form of colourism and fetishisation.
With rampant anti-Blackness among non-Black Muslims, and islamophobia in non-Muslim Black groups, The Black Muslim Girl (TBMG), an online platform dedicated to magnifying the voices of Black Muslim women globally, found it necessary to partner with Muzmatch to develop a documentary, This Is Love that celebrates Black Muslim love and highlights the beauty of bringing our full identities into our relationships.
Opening with musings on love, written and recited by the founder of TBMG, Khadeejah B, where she affirms that ‘love is a place to call home,’ This Is Love gives us a look into the lives and relationships of four Black Muslim couples. Without shying away from the challenges of each relationship, the documentary showcases all the things that love should be: gentle, understanding and sacred.
Reminiscent of the timeless and iconic romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally, the couples chart out their relationships from the moment they met, whether in school settings or through dating app disasters, to the qualities they love most about one another, to challenges, like navigating cultural differences for couples who married across ethnicities and the impact of family dynamics and opinions when getting married.
TBMG wanted to show, not only a different side of Black Muslim life rooted in love and softness, but, in a world that fails to consider the existence of Black Muslims at all, they wanted to bring the variety of couplings within the small community into the mainstream.
TBMG are passionate about amplifying voices and sharing stories that honour Black Muslim love instead of focusing on issues of racism and islamophobia that they may face in the realm of romantic love. Given the scarcity in Black Muslim stories - these are often heavy watches that tackle issues of racism and islamophobia, for example under the ‘watch Black Muslims’ category of the BFI video on-demand streaming service, the only available option is a short documentary about Malcolm X. TBMG wanted to show, not only a different side of Black Muslim life rooted in love and softness, but, in a world that fails to consider the existence of Black Muslims at all, they wanted to bring the variety of couplings within the small community into the mainstream.
According to TBGM, making the documentary was not without its challenges. A combination of British reservedness and the privacy in Muslim communities made finding willing participants difficult. But the team was blown away by the turnout at the first screening. Selling out within days of releasing tickets, it was an indicator of just how much people want and need these projects.
In a world that pays no attention to your love stories, making space and creating the infrastructure to be able to tell them is a radical project.
Watch This Is Love, a project by The Black Muslim Girl in collaboration with Muzmatch.